So my printer ran out of ink just as I was printing the text for my July issue of Blah Blah Blah. So as promised in my zine I am putting all the text here.
I have been sick the last week. I also worked the last 4 days. So basically that means I would wake up go to work, work, come home from work, go directly to bed. I wish I wasn’t employed right now, but i don’t want to quit. I just wish I didn’t have to work when I don’t feel like it. But, it is good. I can definitely use the money. I shouldn’t complain. It is just so hard trying to do all the little things I normally do. I have like four hours of energy a day. And today I woke up wide awake at 7:30 am. It is cleaning today, and we aren’t doing it until 3pm. So the chances that I am totally whiped out by then is just huge. But maybe i can pull off a nap or something. It is sunshiney again which is good. it improves everyone’s mood, and I can feel it improve mine. I don’t know if it is the vitamin d I might get during my 15 minutes in the sun or if it is my ability to feel the collective unconscience.
I have a ton of art projects to work on. And I really need to clean my studio. I think that maybe I need to add like 30 minutes to art time when I can that is just focused on cleaning. I really need to go through all my materials and consolidate, or toss, or sell. I need to make my studio more open. right now I have two desks up against the windows and two desks pushed together in the middle of the floor to make an island work station. I want to eventually get rid of the island. And sort of consolidate a bunch of stuff along the wall, because we will have to move the zine library out of the bedroom to put the crib in there. So many little things.
I really really really do not want to get rid of any of my art stuff. And I get all depressed when I think about it. But where would i put it. I want the attic to come open so that we can rent it, but I also question the ability to pay for it.
Today it is stuffy and hot in my apt. It was warm yesterday and looks like today will be the same. And I didn’t open any windows last night except my bedroom one. So it is stuffy and hot in here. I should find the fan and plug it in. But I probably won’t. I want to hang out with someone today. My friends don’t seem to exist anymore. Maybe I’ll just treat myself to lunch at Butterfly Herbs. maybe I’ll take the bike out for the first time of the season. Of course I should work on my huge list of things to do. But some times nurturing the spirit is more important than getting little things done. Much of my list is calling people. So maybe I won’t take the bike and call everyone on my walk.
I went on a road trip in the middle of the month. It was good for me. Just Josh Wagner and I, watching the road dissappear under his mighty truck. My spirit was lifted. There were a few things that sucked. Like eating at my favorite ethiopian restaurant and getting sick because they use soy in their food. Or having an allergy attack at Joel and Craigs house. But mostly it was just all good stuff. Seeing Alyssa in Portland. Going to the chinese garden’s in Portland. Going to Christian’s wedding reception in Olympia. Going to the japanese garden’s in Seattle. Going on a picnic with so many people I know in Seattle.
Luckly the week before we left I had started feeling better. The whole month before that I was so sick all the time that doing anything was misserable. I have been feeling good lately as well except for a chronically runny nose. My nurse lady said I could drink as much coffee as i want, so that makes my whole fucking life better. And I don’t care if she is wrong. Because if one thing can bring me so much joy, then I doubt it is really going to be all that bad for the baby.
it is hard to believe that June is almost over already. But I feel like I say that at the end of every month. Hell at the end of every day, the end of every week. Time just flies faster and faster just like all the old people told us when we were little.
I have actually been feeling much better lately. Cross your fingers it holds. I am still a little tired, and I have a cronic runny nose. But in general I am feeling much better. I worked morning shifts the last two days, and unlike previously when I would return home and go to bed, I actually did stuff after work. On friday I made dinner and went to Flippers with Aaron. And yesterday Aaron and I went to the movies. Of course I did have a bit of a nap yesterday. I didn’t want to fall asleep I just did and then waking up from it was so hard that it made me cry.
Also yesterday I bought gluten free granola. In the gluten free world, oats have always been a big controversy. It has been decided that the oats themselves have no gluten in them, they are just usually grown with wheat, processed with wheat and what not, so as long as you get the certified gluten free oats you should be ok. I have still always avoided them. For one, I heard that they were still bad way back when. And two, they were expensive. Well, after the super huge availability of them, I realized that if they were actually “still bad” then they wouldn’t be so widely consumed. So when I saw some gluten free granola on a super sale. I said “why not!!!” and bought some. So freaking good. Although I think it might have contributed to my nap.
Gosh now I want to eat a bowl of it right now. Should i not have my usual breakfast of peanut butter sandwich. Will the granola make me sleepy? I guess there is only one way to find out.
Note: I don’t seem to have any adverse affects from eating the oats, except for the usual affect of them expanding in your stomach, and you feel insanely full until you don’t anymore and then you feel ridiculously hungry. Just like old times.
On Wednesday we caught a mouse. In our minds there was this hope that that was it. The end of the mouse problem. But this morning we caught another one. Both on sticky traps, which are the least humane meanest traps. But the most effective. I am sort of ruthless when something is endangering my health. So I don’t mind them. Aaron doesn’t like them. Now we just have a few traditional traps out. But I definitely think I am going to buy some more sticky ones. I feel like it is a battle. Me against them. Of course I still haven’t cleaned my studio and my closet. So much crap. So much work. There really is more for me to do than I could ever even start to get done. I need to take it one thing at a time. I ask myself. What is my biggest priority right now. Right now it is to get my zine out. And to search for cheap plane tickets to New York for the end of the summer.
Today we are going to dinner at our friends Pam and Steve’s. It will be an excellent day.